Dramatic Adjectives
by Dinathion
Summary: Kyuubi's out and Naruto's stuck with Kyuubi's old friend, Kuroyuki, as a baby sitter for a month. Kuroyuki will definitely hate Kyuubi after this... Might as well have some fun! NaruHina, other pairings. I had some fixed technical difficulties earlier.R


Disclaimer: I don't own "Naruto."

Chapter 1: The Body (Container) Guard 

Naruto's face drew nearer to his lover's. She, as a response to this movement, pursed her lips and closed her eyes. Naruto was so giddy, but he held back a want for instant celebration, with strain. He started to lean in on Haruno Sakura who allowed Naruto to rely on her weight just to get an few inches closer to his lips... a few inches more... Naruto closed his eyes and braced his lips for a wet impact. The weight he was leaning on was gone. His eyes opened, "Waahh!" and he crashed to the stone ground. Wait, stone ground? Naruto yelled and the yell echoed, "Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!"

"Bwahahahaha!" Naruto looked up to see a pair of caged, red, slit eyes, "Ooohhhh hahahaha! You always crack me up in your sleep, Naruto!"

"God damn it kyuubi stop messing with my dreams," said Naruto, furiously "Maybe I shouldn't have given you your own phone line as a present for helping bring Sasuke-teme back!" continued Naruto, threateningly and scoldingly to his demon, kyuubi. "If you ever mess with my dreams again, maybe I should just accidentally pull--"

"Wait! No! I didn't mean it like that! Besides, this time there's a reason," Naruto loved to tease kyuubi about taking away his phone line, "I'm going on vacation for the month--"

"Err, vacation? I thought you were trapped in me..." Kyuubi whispered something in Naruto's ear; "What?" Kyuubi tried again, "What about plot holes?"

Kyuubi slapped his own forehead with his paw and slid it down his face, a sweat dropping, "Not in front of the audience, Naruto!" exclaimed an infuriated demon fox in Naruto's general direction (Naruto blushed out of embarrassment), "Any ways, I want you to take care of the place while I'm gone 'cause even if I'm on vacation; if you die, I die. Just in case you do anything dumb, I put my phone line to use and got you a baby sitter. I would say body guard, but you're more of the type who gets baby sitters... not body guards."

"Baby sitter?"

"Baby sitter."

"Baby sitter?"

"Baby sitter."

"Baby-- wait, if you're a demon did you get me someone really really strong and awesome? Especially since it's also your life you're protecting?" asked a very (now) excited and suggestive Naruto.

"You'll see," said an annoyed Kyuubi, now wearing an oversized flower shirt, visor, sandals, and a digital camera around his neck (also sunglasses) "He's a friend of mine," brief cases appeared on Kyuubi's paws and tails as he spoke, "By the name of Kuroyuki, he's a prompt little demon so he should be at your apartment at six o'clock in the morning on the dot. I can assure that... well see'ya in a month roomy!" At that a happy Kyuubi popped out of Naruto's dreams.

"Bwa!" Naruto popped up from under his sheets. a digital clock next to him read 5:58 AM (Naruto was used to getting up so early because his training began at 7:00). "Six o'clock," Naruto thought, "Where have i heard that before?" Naruto pondered this but the doorbell rang before he could put his finger on any idea. "I know! That's when Ichiraku's ramen shop opens only on tuesdays!" The doorbell rang furiously, but Naruto just used it as an excuse to get dressed faster and go out to Ichiraku's. "Ramen!" he screamed one last time before opening the door.

The thought of the upcoming nineteen or so bowls of ramen made him completely oblivious to absolutely anything unrelated to ramen, as it always did. "Ramen-ramen-ramen-ramen-ramen," he continued to chant as he stepped outside. Something bony but at the same time quite pointy tapped his shoulder, he brushed whatever it was off of him and simply replied to this with "RAAAAMEN!"

Naruto walked the path that was hardwired into his brain right down to Ichiraku's stand. He took his usual seat, and yelled as to wake up all of Konoha, "One extra large breakfast ramen tuesday special please!"

Ichiraku rubbed his eyes, he had obviously just gotten to work. "Right away, Naruto." and he sleepily walked behind the scenes of his stand. He came back a minute later with a very large ramen bowl. He began to ask the person next to Naruto what he wanted as he started to set down Naruto's elephant head sized bowl. "What would you like to order, s -- ARGH!" Ichiraku jumped and almost spilled Naruto's ramen. Naruto jumped, too but only because his ramen was in danger.

Ichiraku was looking at the completely colorless body of a man sitting next to Naruto. He wore white, long boots with black stripes and snow white pants with a black belt. A tattered, black flap hung down behind the back of his pants. His tunic was also as white as snow but he still wore a black and white weapons pouch and kunei holster attached to his right leg. His sleeves where white with black armouring and extruding from the fingertips of his ripped gloves, that occasionally revealed glimpses of rotting flesh covered hands, were four inch long pointed bone-like claws that clacked every time they hit Ichiraku's stands counters. Some of his pale and completely colorless face was also eaten away. His black hair didn't look long but looked dry and like it hadn't been tended to in centuries which no doubt was probably the case. There were no whites in his eyes but instead they were completely black. His teeth were jagged, crooked, and pointed, and some even looked like fangs, but were still only white. A few parts of his lip were also rotting revealing some parts of his wicked teeth even with a closed mouth. Finally, strapped on his back were two crossed, holstered scimitar-like swords with elaborate hilts.

"No thank you, I can't taste mortal food any ways," the thing said as he stuck out a completely rotted away black tongue. This unusual statement finally caught the attention of a rudely slurping Naruto Uzumaki.

ENÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐÐ

Yay! My first fanfic. W00tinee! M'kay R&R my little monkeys .

Oh yeah, if you were expecting some NaruHina action you'll have to wait 'til later chapters. Because I still need to get everyone "WTF'd" by Kuroyuki . 


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